Eddie L.
As an artist, I find it important to point out that art is for dipshits.
As an artist, I find it important to point out that art is for dipshits.
Now, I understand that the term “catty” may be considered sexist by some, and in some cases, why not, I’ll accept that it is. Just how everything is sexist in some cases.
So, I kind of don’t know how to start this post about Feminists. The title, in fact, is one of many problems that I have with aspects of Feminism. But if anyone was interested in this post because they saw the title, spare me some minutes to point out a couple of flaws in Feminist logic before I get to the main point.
1. The Media is Sexist - It’s a common thing these days, and we’re all used to it. Some may try to deny it, but we all know they’re wrong when they say that Feminists don’t accuse the media of being sexist. What is the media, though? Well, the news is a bit of it, and sure, watch Fox News. Not an attack on Fox News, but a blatant statement. Fox is known for hiring very attractive female anchors and reporters. And we all know how feminists feel about Fox News (see Janeane Goroflcopterlo).
Feminists don’t like the media. Not just the news, but all media. They don’t like video games just because the only females in the game are extremely attractive. Oh, sorry that an entertainment system for young men is filled with attractive women. I guess denying them a boner when they play Heavenly Sword is a step toward the right direction (lol, direction rhymes with erection). So a feminist gamer blog (right?) says that video games are lacking in gender progression due to Lara Croft having humongous knockers, or Kratos being able to bang nude chicks for some extra experience points. Apparently, the only way we can progress is via some flat-chested, glasses wearing broad who uses her mind to get out of risky situations, and she ends up falling in love with some dude who marries her but doesn’t ask that she takes his last name. YAY! How progressive, right?
Or how about the rampant sexism in Television and Magazine advertisement? You know how they justify it? ”Women look directly at the camera, but men look like they’re thinking about something else.” Holy shit! How long did it take these ladies to go over every article and come to the conclusion that “looking directly at the camera is the same thing as a ball-and-chain?” Probably a total of 30 minutes, including the coffee break and anti-lipstick rally that came before hand. But thanks, gals, I’ll set the next magazine that I don’t read on fire just because there’s some lady staring at me.
And most importantly, child’s play things, specifically, the Barbie. I know, why should I care about a toy that only girls play with? Well, I think that’s the main issue, ain’t it? Feminazis view the Barbie in a certain algorithm: Girls play with barbies, girls shouldn’t look up to the Barbie in its current condition. How about boys who are a little curious to what these girls are flapping about whenever they say “lol, my Barbie has a new dreamhouse?” But I guess that isn’t a big deal. Nah, instead of attacking how gender roles indoctrinates children into playing with a class of toys, let’s complain about those delicious Double-Ds that girls think they should have. I wonder if there are any stats on Breast enlargement surgeries going down after the Barbie decided to get her’s reduced. Either way, who gives a fuck? If a girl is really convinced that she should get breast implants just because her Barbie has large tits, I think there’s a bigger issue here… why the fuck are children worshiping dolls? Should Pacifists demand that GI Joes replace their guns with flowers? Or should the health nuts of the world point out how Mr. Potato Head is encouraging an unhealthy diet? Hell, they probably do; when that’s the case, we all just ignore them as kooks. Why? Because they are.
2. Considering the amount of time I spent on that bullshit, I’ll just get to the main point. Feminists are Catty.
I’ve spent a good amount of time on Facebook from the comfort of my room, and I think that gives me enough grounds to know what kind of bullshit drama girls put themselves through. You see one chick talking about how some random ass chick is a slut or a whore or a homewrecker or some other dumb shit, and 9 times out of 10 they will not even know what this chick was doing. Girls can do some evil shit, and I know… I’m on Facebook a lot… I mean, a lot a lot.
There are different ways for a girl to be bitchy. For the longest time, it had to do with calling another girl either a whore or a fat, ugly troll. Was that good? Of course not! It was terrible, but that was the good ol’ days compared to how Feminists have decided to add their own slander of women they disapprove of. It’s a noble act to tell young girls that they can do anything that boys can. It’s a noble act to encourage girls to attend college, play sports, and run for President. No one is arguing against that (except assholes that Feminists like to use as a Red Herring). My problem has more to do with women like, idk, Pink. You know, the pop/rock artist who sang ‘So What’ (it was on Guitar Hero, really easy to beat on expert). ’So What’ is a decent song, but a song she sang that really reflects the cattiness of Feminists would be the famous ‘Stupid Girl.’
Basically, ‘Stupid Girl’ is about how a girl who plays with barbies instead of footballs is a “stupid girl.” (Just watch the music video, people, it’s quite disgraceful). It goes on to attack other types of women (so liking Barbies isn’t the only stupid thing that girls do), but that girl who “shakes her ass next to 50 Cent” instead of “want[ing] to become president.” The whole music video/song is just an attack on the girls who don’t try to achieve the same goals as the more enlightened Feminists… like Pink. And Pink is not a minority. Her song was a hit and cherished by many women. Why? Because even the smart girls who decide to focus on politics and art can end up being total bitches.
When a girl makes out with a tree at a music festival filled with people on very powerful drugs, it ends up making some people laugh and other people saying “see, she has no self-respect.” Really, you asshole? She has no self-respect because she’s T-rolling really fuckin’ hard and decides to have fun and make out with a tree? It’s funny, hell yeah. But I wouldn’t just judge the shit out of this girl just because I have a problem with “society, man.” She was happy at that moment, and the feminazis (and a bunch of male assholes, as well) have decided to turn this girl into a symbol of female disgrace.
When you’re told that having a brain will get you nowhere but slavery to corporations and the government, I wouldn’t be called a sexist for that. Now, if I told a bunch of young girls that, I would probably get castrated. And for good reason. You shouldn’t discourage a girl from wanting to get an education and make something of herself intellectually. But this idea that all people are created equal and should therefore try to achieve the same goals is a pipe-dream. We are not all created equal, and Feminists who complain whenever a girl uses her physical features to get ahead instead of her mind are just being stuck-up bitches.
See, this is where men are better (I say this in a totally not sexist way). We all have our beefs with guys of different types. Clearly the bookworm boy views the jock as a piece of shit douchebag, and the jock views the bookworm as a weak little twerp. But our differences are in that we don’t fight for male empowerment and then criticize men who don’t live life in the same way that we do. Instead, we just live our lives and then make fun of each other and then get a beer and have a good laugh. We call each other names, sometimes get into fist-fights, but in the end we all say “ay yo, I love you, bro.” Feminists, on the other hand, say that they are fighting for female empowerment but then turn their backs on those who realize that their physical features supercede their intellectual features.
Not to say that all Feminists are like this. In fact, there have been feminists who find stripping, the porn industry, and modeling to be ways of female empowerment, and I pray that those Feminists will end up having the louder voices than the feminazis (like Pink) who think that if you play with a Barbie and hate sports you’re just a “stupid girl.”
Amirite or what?
Politics are gay, I know, but god damn it guys, this is important.
I’ll admit it, I like to discuss politics. In fact, it’s one of my favorite things to do. So my political beliefs are not very closeted.
Now, I try not to limit my ideology to just one defining term, and maybe that’s because I’m a dipshit who doesn’t like to be labeled, but… I also kind of progress my thoughts over time.
And over time, I’ve grown to be more and more Libertarian. At first it was just something interesting, but now it seems to just make more and more sense to me.
But this post isn’t about trying to convince you all to be Libertarians. If anything, the only people I’d want to convince to be Libertarians are Republicans (since they can actually give the Libertarian Party a fighting chance). No… this is more about pointing out some inconsistencies with how others tend to rate my beliefs.
Now, Conservatives, at times, will call me Liberal. Makes sense, since I seem to be against most aspects of Conservatism. You know, the whole “Jesus makes the laws in this country” thing and the “What? LET’S GO TO WAR!!!” mentality. But I’m afraid that what they’re really thinking is that I’m some kind of neo-Liberal who watches Michael Moore and only eats Organic.
No, Republicans, that is not the case.
As for Liberals, they will often call me Conservative, Republican, or Right-Wing. The ones who say that I’m a Libertarian or something indescribable, that’s good and dandy, since they’re not far from the truth. However, Conservative? C’mon, guys, that ain’t the case.
The thing about Liberals is that, well, they’ve completely changed what Liberalism actually is… and don’t even seem to care that they’re not real Liberals (it’s okay if they are only referring to today, but I’ve heard people call the Founding Fathers a bunch of Liberals… or Lincoln… the fuck?)
Now, let’s break down my beliefs and see how truly Liberal I am:
1. Support police and military - not liberal
2. Believes that current military and police power is far too high - more liberal than Democrats
3. Believes that current military and police spending are far too high - Liberal
4. legalize abortion, including partial birth - Liberal (and more than many Democrats)
5. Legalize gay marriage - Liberal
6. After that, eliminate marriage as a government institution - More liberal than Democrats
7. No Federal gun control and no State gun bans - More Liberal than Democrats
8. Absolutely no government religion - Liberal
9. No government restrictions on religion - More liberal than Democrats
10. Against the War on Drugs - more liberal than Democrats
11. Against environmental regulations - more liberal than Democrats
12. Against taxes on new businesses, including permit and registration fees - More liberal than Democrats
13. Against the legal entity of “corporation” - more Liberal than Democrats
14. Against government projects that use tax dollars and contract opportunist businesses - More Liberal than Democrats
15. Supports an eventual One world government that prevents nations from committing attacks on individual rights (like genocide or theft) - Not Liberal, but in support of Individualism… so it’s kind of Liberal
16. Against the NSA, FBI, ATF, and other Federal agencies that continuously go against the Bill of Rights - More Liberal than Democrats
17. For legalizing and eliminating regulation on prostitution, gambling, alcohol consumption, and tobacco use - More Liberal than Democrats
18. Against mandates forcing children to attend school - More Liberal than Democrats
19. Against any Federal control over education - More Liberal than Democrats
20. Against any restrictions or regulations on practice of medicine and law. - More Liberal than Democrats
21. Against subsidies - More Liberal than Democrats
22. Supports a voucher type welfare program - not Liberal
and some other shit… tl;dr, ya know?
I’m not saying that you should agree with this. Most of you won’t (Republicans, Democrats, and even Libertarians). But that isn’t the point. The point is to show you that Neo-Liberalism is a shit load different from Classical Liberalism. We can talk more about how neo-cons ruined conservatism, but it really didn’t… it just kind of made the Republican Party a bit more strict in their views (adding the whole family values thing… thanks, hippies).
But most importantly, if you are a Democrat, you just aren’t a real Liberal. I don’t even know why we continue to use these terms if all they do is cause confusion and double-think. Shit, yo, the Conservatives are claiming that Liberals are for “big government.” How the hell are we supposed to be having political debates if we can’t even understand what the fuck is going on? Liberal and Big Government should be Mutually Exclusive terms.
Day 20.
Out in the North Pole, Santa sat on his thrown pissed off.
“Youth these days don’t appreciate me,” he grumbled to himself. “I’ll show them all.”
He clapped his hands, and a man dressed in Pig Skin walked up to his altar. “My life for you, Prince of Darkness,” he said as he came to his knees.
“Lambe, you’ve been a great follower of mine, and I think it’s about time that I told you that your dyslexia has caused you to… follow the wrong guy. I’m SANTA… not Satan.”
“But sir, the sacrifices.”
“Oh, don’t get me wrong, I do all the same shit, it’s just that Satan and God don’t exist… I’m all there is, really. Well, me and that bastard Chuck Norris.”
“Whatever, as long as I get to skin something.”
“That’s more like it.” Santa reached into his toy sack and pulled out a life-like doll. “This girl was born under the sign of Naughtius. She must be brought to me for another ritual. Only then will the kids, once again, worship me instead of all that commercial bullshit.”
“Yes, my dark master,” and like that, Lambe saddled up a sleigh and headed out to bring Santa his next sacrifice.
Meanwhile, in an unspecified location:
“How much will you give me for this Elf head,” Tori asked the local peddler, Keenan.
“Whoa man,” he started, “that shit is workshop type Elf. Rare in these parts. I’d say about four hundred.”
“I’ll take it.”
Tori took her four hundred dollars and headed out the door. “I’m heading to the Three Trees. I might bring back some sub-human type shit.”
One hour after Tori left the shop, Lambe walked into Keenan’s store. He pulled out the doll and showed it to Keenan. “I’m looking for this girl.”
“I don’t sell dolls, man. I deal with less… mainstream type shit.”
“No; a girl who looks like this.”
“Oh,” said Keenan, and he thought about it. He realized that the doll looked a lot like Tori, but he wasn’t going to give her up like that. Especially to a seven-foot tall serial killer looking guy dressed in Pig Skin. “Well, never seen a girl who looks like that. I get a lot of customers. Hunter type people. They go out and fetch various things. Elf heads, Dwarf hearts, Jew blood. If you’re interested in hunting, check out the hunting lounge.”
“Will do.” And like that, Lambe just vanished… again.
Oh… he also killed Keenan in the process. I forgot to mention that the Lambe must feed…
So anyway:
Tori had just finished wiping out an entire family of Mole People underneath the Three Trees. It wasn’t a common thing for them to be so close to the openings in the ground, and their flesh was worth a lot (especially the flesh of the children). She was just about to skin them when she heard a rustling behind her. “They’re mine,” she said “I killed them fair and square.”
She turned around, and she saw a seven foot tall man in Pig Skin looking down on her.
“You must come with me.”
“Um… I think you have the wrong Tori.”
“NONSENSE!!!” and he pulled out a giant net, trying to trap her in it.
She was fast enough to get out of the way, but Lambe was persistent. After five days of basically the same shit, he finally caught her in the net. But that was really because she tripped over a dead Mole person’s body… irony.
“Satan… I mean Santa, I brought you the girl.”
“Excellent; ELVES, prepare her for the sacrifice. This will be a special one, for she has removed the heads of many of your brethren.”
Tori woke up in a dungeon, next to another girl, but she was a bit taller and had dark hair. And she was dead, so we won’t know her name… (rules are rules, only the people who liked my Status).
She saw that her guard was wearing Keenan’s face over his own. “Oh My God,” said Tori, “you bastards are sickening.”
“I am no bastard, woman!” said the guard. “I’m an Awi. My friends call me the Bad Awi, cause I’m oh so bad.”
“Ha, sounds like you and your friends are faggots.”
“We’ll see who the faggot is when you’re bleeding on a shrine, bitch.”
“When I’m out of here, I’m wiping out every Awi that I can find. I bet I could get good money for your limbs.”
“Your delusions amuse me.”
So Santa was talking with Lambe:
“Lambe, what did we do with that child molester, the Moye Mole?”
“We gave him the names of all the kids who follow the sign of Naughtius.”
“Excellent. He always comes in handy. How’s the Bad Awi? Wasn’t he supposed to check in?”
“… fuck.”
A patrol of elves went to the prison, and sure enough the Awi was skewered to the wall. Tori was nowhere to be found.
They reported back to Santa, and yeah, that got him pissed.
“Lambe, stop Moye from grabbing a sleigh… we have a battle on our hands.”
“She was quite difficult to capture. How did you pick this girl?”
“Those born under the star alignment of Naughtius are my greatest enemies. They are blessed with a strength and dexterity capable of taking down the greatest of fighters… to sacrifice them on my altar is to give me their power, and to eventually end the resistance towards me.”
“Oh wow… you told me none of this.”
“But he told me,” said Moye the Molesting Mole as he walked through the doors. “I’ve been molesting the shit out of Naughtius kids and their followers.”
Santa and Lambe just looked at him.
“So,” Moye said as he pulled out his knife, “who’s ready to make this bitch bleed?”
And just as he said that, an arrow went right into his throat. He bled out, and another arrow almost hit Santa until Lambe grabbed it.
It was Tori, and she was in the pillars of the large palace.
“GET HER!” screamed Santa, and he called in his reindeer. “On Donner, On Blitzen… damn it, where are the others?!”
Most of his minions had been killed in the process of the search for her.
As the reindeer flew up and attacked her, she took them both out with a blade made from child bone that she had taken off of the Awi before she escaped.
And that’s when Rudolf shot down the pillar she was on, and she came crashing down. She jumped from the pillar and onto Rudolf, stabbing him in his gay-ass nose.
“Lambe, kill her, quickly!”
“Yeah… she’s killed ALL of your minions… I’m starting to think that you’re not so badass.”
“I’ll deal with you later,” and Santa pulled out a sword from his toy bag. “Get ready to let it snow out of your arteries, nigger,” and he came after her.”
Man, if I felt like it, I would have described this epic battle, but I’m four pages in on Microsoft Word and I don’t even know how much you people are gonna read before thinking “tl;dr” so I’ll just end it with saying that Tori killed Santa… duh.
Lambe and Tori were the only ones left alive in the North Pole, and at first, both of them didn’t know if more blood-shed was necessary. But Lambe made the initiative and did that vanishing shit.
With the reindeer dead, the sleighs were kind of useless. Good thing Santa kept a private jet in his hangar. Tori got in and headed back home. And she had Keenan’s face with her to put up in his store’s Hall of Fame section.
The End
It had been 8 months since Eilin, a sad middle-aged woman at this point, had lost all her children in a terrible fire down in the Orlando area. At this point, she had lost her mind and had suffered from some strange form of Psychosis.
“What’s wrong with her,” people would ask.
“Well, she’s crazy,” others would respond.
“Duh,” they’d say.
“No, I mean, she’s crazier this time.”
You see, Eilin was a very caring mother. Forgetful at times (contributing to the fire, of course), so since she couldn’t stand the fact that she had inadvertently murdered her children, her brain went into a fantasy land of Ice Demons and Gay Leprechauns. It was a made up world she had created when telling stories to her youngest, who happened to be the tallest.
He loved those stories, and he would act them out in the backyard with his slightly older brother, who wasn’t the type to enjoy stories (he was more into video games).
Interesting thing about the backyard, that’s where the shortest daughter (and shortest of the siblings) had escaped to (the doors were all kept locked due to Eilin’s irrational fears of a home-invasion, also contributing to her eventual guilt) just in time, only to fall into a pit big enough to not be able to escape from, but small enough so that she couldn’t stop drop and roll. A very conveniently dug hole by the taller daughter, who was the athletic type and liked to dig a lot of holes… for some reason.
But anyway, they died in that fire, and the only one who escaped died in the hole… lit on fire; and that, of course, made that old, crazy mother very depressed and very insane.
And Ice Demons and shit.
So one day, in her highest state of bat-shit insanity, Eilin had found her way to the top of a very luxurious hotel. She was naked and screaming at the Moon. Some security guards had found her and pulled out their guns. When she turned around, they couldn’t help but stare at her nude body. This gave her enough time to grab one of their guns and shoot them to death.
She stormed out of the hotel and ran out into the street. It was dark, and not many were out, but whenever she did see someone, she would scream and point her gun at that person. If they didn’t immediately run away, she would blow a hole into their head.
Eventually, she ran out of bullets. The sun was starting to come up and she went to her nearest hardware store. She pried open the door and stepped in. Eventually, she found herself a nice chainsaw. The store manager had stepped inside, and at first all he could come to terms with is a naked woman holding something big.
“The fuck?” he said, and she thrusted the chainsaw into his chest (while turning it on at the same time… damn she’s strong) causing his innards to fly everywhere, including all over her.
“My armor is my latest victim,” she yelled as she stepped out of the hardware store. “Now to kill me a gay leprechaun.”
That’s where she found McFisty’s, a popular gay bar in the Orlando area. Inside were some passed out gay folks after a hard night of alcohol, ecstasy, and intense anal penetration. When she noticed that some of them were already bleeding out of their rectums, she stepped out, seeing that someone had already taken care of them. “Must have been the soul of my older son; he was quite good at destroying the anuses of others.”
This is where it gets strange.
It turns out that Ice Demons did actually exist. Well, his name was Khalil, and not that he was truly a hellish creature made from the ice of the last circle of Hell, but that his street name was given to him since he was known for having the best Ice on deck.
Khalil was about to set up shop just across the street from McFisty’s since he knew that around this time, some of the gay folks would need a pick me up before heading back to their wives. Not that he was only a Meth dealer to gays; this was just a great money maker for the morning. He mainly just sold Coke to midgets in Oviedo. No big deal.
Of course, today was no ordinary day. Instead of seeing a limping gay man looking for a way to wake up and lie to his wife, he saw a naked, large-breasted woman covered in blood and holding a chainsaw.
They looked at each other for a sec, and then he had recognized her.
“Eilin?” he asked.
“Ice Demon?” she responded. “Have any more of that embalming fluid?”
“Um… shit, no.”
It was a lie, but he had seen something like this before. He sold a lot of PCP in his earlier days, and when I say earlier days, I mean the week before. Eilin was a customer who loved Meth (forgot to mention that she was addicted to Meth) and had decided to get heavily into PCP when Khalil had mentioned that it would make her feel like God (but God v2, since Meth already made her feel like God). After heavy usage, it only attributed to her insanity even more (so, take the fact that she’s crazy, add a bit of dead kids, then some meth addiction, and a pinch of… a lot of PCP, and BAM). He kept PCP with him just in case someone was interested, but he decided to stop pushing it after seeing his biggest customer jump in front of a train (and derailing it). Can’t sell drugs to dead customers. As well, it would be a terrible idea to sell her PCP at this point.
But this made her pretty angry. “GIVE ME THAT GOD DAMN ANGEL DUST YOU BASTARD!!!” She charged at him with her chainsaw and Khalil quickly pulled out his .44 Magnum, a gun he carried with him usually just to show people how badass he was (uh, Dirty Harry, ya’ll), but a very useful thing whenever a junkie overstepped their bounds. He shot all six rounds into her, and while you couldn’t tell which blood was hers, you could see the holes in her torso. Unfortunately, this wasn’t enough to stop her. She managed to saw his left arm off, which made it pretty hard to reload his gun. Probably would have been better to have a semi-automatic, but damn that trade of vanity over efficiency.
She was about to get another swing at him when he managed to pull out his trusty hunting knife and get it directly into her heart. This didn’t stop her right away, but it surely did make her drop the chainsaw. She staggered away and fell to her knees. “Ice Demon… I feel your hellish frost taking over my body.”
As she tried to get back up, Khalil came to her with his hunting knife in his right hand. To her, it was a sword made of ice, and it had her soul at the end of it.
“Any last words,” he asked her as he raised his knife over her head.
“Word Salads,” she replied.
“That makes no sense.”
“OH MY GOD I KNOW RIGHT!!!”
And down came the knife into her brain, and she was done.
She was buried next to her children, and Khalil came to her funeral. He placed the last of his PCP on the ground she was buried in, making a vow, in Latin, to never sell this Angel Dust again.
Sucks, cause he ended up citing some bullshit from a Necromancer’s ritual book. He thought it was about giving up drug-pushing (specifically PCP), but it ended up being a reanimation ritual. And later that night, as the PCP lay on her grave HER HAND CAME OUT AND GRABBED IT!!!!! For she was back, but this time… her name was Camila. OMGWTF!
The End?
Yes, because sequels are stupid.
A nice day, sunny and all
The children have awoken, greeted by their mother and pa
They go downstairs, eat breakfast, grab their homework
They go out the door, and head for school
Outside waits a Lambe, dressed in Pig skin
The parents are still at home, and that makes him grin
Knock on the door? No need
It’s unlocked, and he preps for his deed
“Hello” says the dad “who’s there”
“Honey” responded the mother “are the kids home”
As the father walks in, the Lambe strikes with his hatchet
Right across his eyes, the father goes down
“Miranda, get out of here”
But it’s too late, the Lambe has found her
Her face is in horror, her husband has no eyes
He bleeds on the ground, crying if he could
“Monster!”
And that’s all she can say
“Quiet” and the Lambe makes her pay
His hatchet hits on the butt end, knocks her out cold
And they wake up, tied to their bed
Gagged; their screams are fun, but now it’s time to get work done
“I found your drill” said the Lambe
And that’s how it started
Drill into the bone, the femur, the knee caps
The blood didn’t squirt as much as he was used to
It’s alright
He drilled the mother’s cunt
“Better than your husband, right?”
“Well, I guess this makes this useless now that she’s found a drill”
And he used shears to snip away at the father’s cock
“Hold Still”
But they both couldn’t stop trying to get free
“Your legs are useless”
But they didn’t seem to take notice
They were in a state of hopelessness, the Lambe laughed at their inevitable demise
He removed their gags, and all they could do is scream
“Shut up you two; your children will be back in an hour or so”
“I’ve been working at you folks for hours”
“So, do you want to live when they get back or do you want to die?”
They both screamed about some bullshit on how they didn’t want their kids to die
All the Lambe could hear was “give them a show”
When the kids got back, they walked through the open door
“Mom, Dad?” Nowhere to be found
The kids looked everywhere, the house, all around
They even looked in their parent’s bedroom
But nothing was there. Except for so much blood
“MOM, DAD!” and the Lambe appeared behind them
Knocked them out cold
They woke up in a little room; they were quite confused
There were their parents, laying on the ground, naked, holding each other’s hands
The children were in tears
In Fear
“Here’s the deal, kids”
It was through an intercom
“You’re going nowhere.”
He left them there. The door bolted shut
Nothing for them, but to spend eternity with their dead parents
And the worst part is… they were starting to get hungry
Black People - Very fast runners; very slow walkers.
Japanese - Very advanced technology, except for their video games.
Hispanics - Hard-working Americans… happen to not be American.
Democrats - Do everything they can to oppress minorities and years later do everything they can to oppress white people.
Christians - Worship a false idol.
Al Sharpton - Civil Rights activist who hates Jews.
Good - Makes no sense without Evil.
Jon Stewart - Serious about his comedy.
We really like to look at things a certain way. We end up making morals and values based on those things.
What a waste of time.
Now, don’t take my quote out of context when I say that Barack Obama is a pedophile.
1. Which Barack Obama am I talking about? 7 billion people in this world; why is the American President the only important one? Fuckin’ Americans and their egoism.
2. What context of a pedophile am I even talking about? I could be using the dictionary definition of “pedophile” which is “an adult who is sexually attracted to young children.” And really, who’s going to make the bold claim that Barack Obama is not sexually attracted to young children?
3. Calling people like Obama or Bush (once again, which Obama or Bush? WAKE UP AMERICA, 7 BILLION PEOPLE!) a Nazi can become a common thing, based on practically nothing (hell, I remember watching Keith Olbermann call Bush a Fascist; which Olbermann though? MSNBC ISN’T THE ONLY FORM OF MEDIA, YOU BLIND AMERICUNTS). My point, though, is that we can equate someone like Bush or Obama to a group of people who holocausted 6 million Jews, why would it be worse to say that one of them is sexually attracted to young children?
Here’s what I’m saying. Obama is a pedophile and that is way less worse than being a Nazi.
Also, if you think being a Nazi is better than being a pedophile you are saying that it’s more appropriate to murder 6 million Jews than to just get a boner (or wet, cause I support Feminism) whenever you see a kid.
Now, of course, this doesn’t take into account the argument that the holocaust is a lie. Well, if it turns out that there was no Holocaust… I guess being a pedophile would be worse than being a Nazi.
And that brings me to another question: If it turned out that the holocaust was a lie… wouldn’t that be a good thing? If anything, we should be hoping that 6 million people weren’t murdered 70 years ago. You know how great it would be to know that something fuckin’ terrible never happened? So saying that you don’t hope that the holocaust never happened means that you are okay with the fact that the holocaust did happen.
I am a pseudo-intellectual and everything I have told you is useless.
Forget about my opinions on movies that everyone already knows is crap. Or even better, forget about my opinions on movies that everyone thinks is good.
This whole time I’ve been trying to push an agenda through either faulty satire or outright attack, when it turns out that I’m just as wrong as everything I hate.
None of you should feel bad about the dumb things you cherish, because I am just as guilty as all of you are for placing value on my very on philosophy. I have failed myself, and for anyone who has ever heard me say something, write something, or act in a certain way and have agreed with it, I’m afraid that you’ve all been cherishing the views of an imposter.
Would this make me Born Again? I’m afraid not. Acknowledgement of the fact that I am nothing, just like everything else, is not to be Born Again… it’s just becoming self-aware. There are two ways to approach my self-awareness, either with elitism or with existential crisis. Since both would require the placing of value on something, I can do nothing but ask that all of you take nothing of value from it all.
In a sense, if you agree, you have learned nothing, and if you disagree, you are proving my point.
Much Love.
